road tripping

was driving home the other day trying to think of a happy memory that involved just me and my parents and I couldn't. I remember memories with my brother and sister or friends or other family. Weird thing is my sister was explaining this same thing to her shrink that very day and we chatted the next day bout it. It made me so emotional and I realised there is so much hidden that I am not prepared to deal with, ever. So I couldn't stand working anymore today and got in my car and drove to my hometown to see what it looked like after 18 years of not living there. Some things never change. School still looks exactly the same. Streets are still the same. I did have trouble recognising some of our earlier homes but I still remembered the street names. Was surreal.

 This was the old house of a very dear friend who left and obviously the house has gone to ruin. I have memories of him swinging me around on the front lawn and reading books together.

 My old primary school

 I use to run here every day at school and even grazed my chin so bad once in a fall I was convinced it would scar me for life

 The back of the school

 The hospital I was born in, back then it was something to talk about

We lived opposite this field once and the one day the electricity went out and my dad kicked the pole and a bolt of electricity set the whole place on fire.

I guess the memories are there they just need to be found. I miss my parents and who they were before religion got the better of all of us and we all grew up. I drove past my ex best friends house as well and there was something about that house, it had a round window at the top of the wall in the lounge which I use to stare at all the time when we had bible study. Weird the things you remember.

My Nana used to come and sell her paintings right outside that door every Sunday and we would play at the hotel. Everything seemed so much bigger back then haha.

So that was my little adventure for the day and I still haven't got my work done. Some things are just not worth it at the time I guess and I will get around to it eventually.