hearing your voice over the phone that first time
diving into the "pool" together
diving into the "pool" together
waiting nervously for you to arrive to pick me up
seeing the first glimpse of you
giving you that first hug
the first kiss and trying to breathe
looking you in the eyes and watching you
sitting on the other end of your desk and watching you work
listening for your voice around every corner
waiting for the end of the day to hold you
a glass of red wine on the deck and chatting forever
running around in circles like a nana after finding out our combine history
asking you to take the towel off from around your shoulders because I wanted to see you
talking about tress and deciding on a tattoo
telling you I loved you
watching you pack and unpack the mini bars
driving to the closest camp to the shop
watching you walk after checking in guests to my room and coming to say hi
driving back to my car from one camp to another and swopping music along the way
the way they made me cry
leaning over you in the game vehicle to see a terrapin
saying goodbye when we reached my car and you hugged and kissed me and whispered, "I love you"
the look on your face as you walked away
driving home and crying most of the way until the next time we saw each other
getting your supportive messages and "I love you's" all day every day
waiting for you at the airport and hugging you
buying your ring together and seeing you wear it
seeing how our hands fit so perfectly together
going on our first dinner date and killing myself in those shoes
waking up to you
getting our tattoo together and having hot dogs for breakfast
being told by a stranger to "get a room"
going to the shops to get a pregnancy test and it being negative and I was confident I was ok but it was too early to tell
dropping you at the airport and saying goodbye
driving down to the coast to see you last minute and spending the weekend at your sisters place
getting your messages every 30 minutes to check if I was ok
watching you hold my son and getting on so well
spending time with your family and being accepted so easily
playing cards with your daughter on the trampoline
hearing your daughter ask to sleep with me in my bed for the night
swimming with the kids and watching them laugh and play together
taking my son to see the little aeroplane and looking over the hills that reminded me of my younger days
sneaking into your room to get a cuddle and say good morning
having to leave again and the way my heart sank thinking of the drama at home
the way you kissed me goodbye in the bathroom
waiting for the next weekend that I would see you
dreaming of our wedding and where it would be
finding our wedding song
the thought of me being pregnant with your child and you kissing my big belly
waiting for you to come back from leave
watching you walk out at the arrivals lounge and the big smile on your face
actually hugging and kissing you hello not caring who saw
driving to your dad's place at the dam and meeting them for the first time
having our own space and cooking for your parents
waking up to a horror story but it all working out at the end of the day
going to watch the rugby at the clubhouse and not being able to cheer because of the meeting hehe
meeting that weird shirtless guy and talking about wildlife all night
dancing on the bar and kissing to our hearts content with not a care in the world
taking lots of pictures
walking home drunk and getting lost and giggling all the way
hearing your parents going at it when we got home and not being able to contain ourselves
driving back to your dad's home from the dam and cooking dinner together
the quickie in the scullery and on the couch
working and watching you and feeling you kiss my neck every time you passed
watching you wave goodbye as I left...again
waiting for the next time I could see you
the day we figured out how to Skype video and seeing your face and smile
renting a car to drive to you for the night and driving like the wind
as I got to you seeing you run out the back door of your office to meet me and me half running to you
doing the bush dinner run and trying to work out what we would do for dinner and rugby
hating making you stress when you were so busy at work but just wanting you all to myself
going to the main camp for dinner and having a silly fight over my husband
trying again and going to the clubhouse for dinner
having another altercation over my husband and getting back to your place and pulling you close and telling you to shut up and kissing you and making love
getting up early and the chef making me quick eggs before I drove home again
packing to go and visit my parents for 2 1/2 weeks
getting there and explaining my story after a chat with you and hearing them half understanding
going through the motions and being put on the spot with my marriage and faith
your continuous understanding and telling me to go back to my husband if it will stop the critics and then they could see I was really not happy
having my husband join us and the awkward moments
staying with my sister and skyping with her there and having so much fun just being me
doing another pregnancy test and finding out it was positive
skyping with you and you telling me it would all be ok and us being excited together
driving to you again after getting back from visiting my parents
you having the afternoon off and us going to the closest town
doing more pregnancy tests and it was definitely positive
having sushi for lunch together and it not being the best ever lol
driving around and going to visit the waterfall
how enjoyable that drive was and giggling and laughing like school kids
having a quickie up the mountain and then my sensitivity about it
watching you bitch all the way down and me just listening
the way you looked at me at the bottom and your frown and anger turning into a smile and laughing
driving back to your work and meeting everyone for a drink
being nervous of being seen together and then eventually just giving in
kissing you in front of everyone
going down to the bridge with drinks and lying under the stars together laughing
telling everyone we were pregnant
driving around the game reserve waiting for you to finish work the next day
making you and your office chick pea curry for dinner
going home to end it all
moving in with my aunt and uncle
getting it from all ends, husband and parents
hearing my son say I am not his mommy anymore because I don't live there anymore
going to see the gynae and seeing the little thing growing in my tummy
losing the baby
you coming to see me last minute
you meeting my aunt and uncle for the first time and how it just felt so right you being there
driving to your dad's place and being stuck in traffic for an hour
pouring my heart out and you just listening to me
remembering your feet perched on my dashboard and the way you crossed your legs in my car
running a hot bath and giving me a massage before tucking me into bed
waking up to you and touching your face
having breakfast together at house of coffees before dropping you at the airport again
moving back in with my husband to try the 30 day trial period and it not lasting 2 days
thinking I hadn't actually lost the baby as was still feeling nauseas and test was still positive
having a massive fight and emotional abuse with him
fighting with you over it and losing you
driving half way to you at 3am to tell you I was sorry and I loved you and telling me it wouldn't make a difference
breaking down completely the next day
you taking me back after my apologies and us trying to work at it again
organising a secret picnic for you and us and buying blankets and candles, finding the perfect place
seeing you again at the airport and getting the longest hug
driving to your dad's place and meeting them somewhere to get keys
driving to the picnic place and watching the sun set
going back to your dad's place to set up the picnic there cuz it was too cold
lying naked on the electric blanket after dinner talking about the hard stuff
I remember how terrible I felt because of all the pain I was causing every way I turned
waking up to a better day and kisses
going for breakfast with your parents and then the mall
watching the rugby together and having drinks
meeting new friends and talking a lot!
getting a little too drunk and having another altercation over my husband
more pain that I seemed to be causing for everyone I came in contact with
you calming me down and telling me it will all be ok
having such a terrible hang over by 8pm and us going home to sleep
waking up and not knowing what to do with myself
wanting to hold you and make everything better but not knowing how
pushing away instead
telling you I can't hurt anyone anymore and we should just be friends
watching the tears fall down your face and kissing them away
not realising what I was doing to your heart and only thinking of not hurting you again when all you wanted was to be with me
watching you walk away at the airport and wanting to run in after you not realising that was the last time I would see you...........
looking you in the eyes and watching you
sitting on the other end of your desk and watching you work
listening for your voice around every corner
waiting for the end of the day to hold you
a glass of red wine on the deck and chatting forever
running around in circles like a nana after finding out our combine history
asking you to take the towel off from around your shoulders because I wanted to see you
talking about tress and deciding on a tattoo
telling you I loved you
watching you pack and unpack the mini bars
driving to the closest camp to the shop
watching you walk after checking in guests to my room and coming to say hi
driving back to my car from one camp to another and swopping music along the way
the way they made me cry
leaning over you in the game vehicle to see a terrapin
saying goodbye when we reached my car and you hugged and kissed me and whispered, "I love you"
the look on your face as you walked away
driving home and crying most of the way until the next time we saw each other
getting your supportive messages and "I love you's" all day every day
waiting for you at the airport and hugging you
buying your ring together and seeing you wear it
seeing how our hands fit so perfectly together
going on our first dinner date and killing myself in those shoes
waking up to you
getting our tattoo together and having hot dogs for breakfast
being told by a stranger to "get a room"
going to the shops to get a pregnancy test and it being negative and I was confident I was ok but it was too early to tell
dropping you at the airport and saying goodbye
driving down to the coast to see you last minute and spending the weekend at your sisters place
getting your messages every 30 minutes to check if I was ok
watching you hold my son and getting on so well
spending time with your family and being accepted so easily
playing cards with your daughter on the trampoline
hearing your daughter ask to sleep with me in my bed for the night
swimming with the kids and watching them laugh and play together
taking my son to see the little aeroplane and looking over the hills that reminded me of my younger days
sneaking into your room to get a cuddle and say good morning
having to leave again and the way my heart sank thinking of the drama at home
the way you kissed me goodbye in the bathroom
waiting for the next weekend that I would see you
dreaming of our wedding and where it would be
finding our wedding song
the thought of me being pregnant with your child and you kissing my big belly
waiting for you to come back from leave
watching you walk out at the arrivals lounge and the big smile on your face
actually hugging and kissing you hello not caring who saw
driving to your dad's place at the dam and meeting them for the first time
having our own space and cooking for your parents
waking up to a horror story but it all working out at the end of the day
going to watch the rugby at the clubhouse and not being able to cheer because of the meeting hehe
meeting that weird shirtless guy and talking about wildlife all night
dancing on the bar and kissing to our hearts content with not a care in the world
taking lots of pictures
walking home drunk and getting lost and giggling all the way
hearing your parents going at it when we got home and not being able to contain ourselves
driving back to your dad's home from the dam and cooking dinner together
the quickie in the scullery and on the couch
working and watching you and feeling you kiss my neck every time you passed
watching you wave goodbye as I left...again
waiting for the next time I could see you
the day we figured out how to Skype video and seeing your face and smile
renting a car to drive to you for the night and driving like the wind
as I got to you seeing you run out the back door of your office to meet me and me half running to you
doing the bush dinner run and trying to work out what we would do for dinner and rugby
hating making you stress when you were so busy at work but just wanting you all to myself
going to the main camp for dinner and having a silly fight over my husband
trying again and going to the clubhouse for dinner
having another altercation over my husband and getting back to your place and pulling you close and telling you to shut up and kissing you and making love
getting up early and the chef making me quick eggs before I drove home again
packing to go and visit my parents for 2 1/2 weeks
getting there and explaining my story after a chat with you and hearing them half understanding
going through the motions and being put on the spot with my marriage and faith
your continuous understanding and telling me to go back to my husband if it will stop the critics and then they could see I was really not happy
having my husband join us and the awkward moments
staying with my sister and skyping with her there and having so much fun just being me
doing another pregnancy test and finding out it was positive
skyping with you and you telling me it would all be ok and us being excited together
driving to you again after getting back from visiting my parents
you having the afternoon off and us going to the closest town
doing more pregnancy tests and it was definitely positive
having sushi for lunch together and it not being the best ever lol
driving around and going to visit the waterfall
how enjoyable that drive was and giggling and laughing like school kids
having a quickie up the mountain and then my sensitivity about it
watching you bitch all the way down and me just listening
the way you looked at me at the bottom and your frown and anger turning into a smile and laughing
driving back to your work and meeting everyone for a drink
being nervous of being seen together and then eventually just giving in
kissing you in front of everyone
going down to the bridge with drinks and lying under the stars together laughing
telling everyone we were pregnant
driving around the game reserve waiting for you to finish work the next day
making you and your office chick pea curry for dinner
going home to end it all
moving in with my aunt and uncle
getting it from all ends, husband and parents
hearing my son say I am not his mommy anymore because I don't live there anymore
going to see the gynae and seeing the little thing growing in my tummy
losing the baby
you coming to see me last minute
you meeting my aunt and uncle for the first time and how it just felt so right you being there
driving to your dad's place and being stuck in traffic for an hour
pouring my heart out and you just listening to me
remembering your feet perched on my dashboard and the way you crossed your legs in my car
running a hot bath and giving me a massage before tucking me into bed
waking up to you and touching your face
having breakfast together at house of coffees before dropping you at the airport again
moving back in with my husband to try the 30 day trial period and it not lasting 2 days
thinking I hadn't actually lost the baby as was still feeling nauseas and test was still positive
having a massive fight and emotional abuse with him
fighting with you over it and losing you
driving half way to you at 3am to tell you I was sorry and I loved you and telling me it wouldn't make a difference
breaking down completely the next day
you taking me back after my apologies and us trying to work at it again
organising a secret picnic for you and us and buying blankets and candles, finding the perfect place
seeing you again at the airport and getting the longest hug
driving to your dad's place and meeting them somewhere to get keys
driving to the picnic place and watching the sun set
going back to your dad's place to set up the picnic there cuz it was too cold
lying naked on the electric blanket after dinner talking about the hard stuff
I remember how terrible I felt because of all the pain I was causing every way I turned
waking up to a better day and kisses
going for breakfast with your parents and then the mall
watching the rugby together and having drinks
meeting new friends and talking a lot!
getting a little too drunk and having another altercation over my husband
more pain that I seemed to be causing for everyone I came in contact with
you calming me down and telling me it will all be ok
having such a terrible hang over by 8pm and us going home to sleep
waking up and not knowing what to do with myself
wanting to hold you and make everything better but not knowing how
pushing away instead
telling you I can't hurt anyone anymore and we should just be friends
watching the tears fall down your face and kissing them away
not realising what I was doing to your heart and only thinking of not hurting you again when all you wanted was to be with me
watching you walk away at the airport and wanting to run in after you not realising that was the last time I would see you...........
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