John 8:7 "Let him who is without sin among you to be the first to throw a stone at her."
Romans 2:1 Therefore you have no excuse, O man, Or how can you say to your brother "every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.
Matthew 7: 1 "Judge not, that you be not judged, For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye' when there is a log in your own eye?"
Today was an interesting day and I got my Bible out to look up the meaning of judgment according to it as it is being flung in my face so much today already. I'm not quite sure what else to say anymore and the best solution to this is to take it as something happened and not to be thought about too deeply. Or to deal with it the way I do, thinking, and eventually come to the same conclusion I have my whole 30 years and that is that I AM NOT THE PERSON MY PARENTS WANT ME TO BE!!
Through the conversation with my parents today I honestly tried my level best to see the good in what they were saying and tried to remember they were my parents and they loved me and they only wanted the best for me. When you are told that you are an embarrassment and that you get the feeling that they are more worried about what their friends who warned them against supporting me then the lid blows off the casket and bitterness sets in. Is that I have been my whole life to them? In my last blog I wrote about how I always tried to please them and get it right for them well that ain't ever gonna happen and no matter how much it hurts I'm done with that and time to move on...
Things like this make me question myself and if I should be following the way I was brought up and giving everything to God and trusting Him to sort my life out? Half of me wants to but I am worried about what my parents say that their coming to Johannesburg is a sign from God and that he wants me to give my marriage a chance!?! This is not what I believe and I don't know how else to say it to them when they keep telling me I need to go back to God. Is my way of thinking so wrong? Am I making God into something I want or need at the time? I avoid going to church because it makes me feel guilty about myself. But when I think about this I am guilty because I am not what they want me to be and I think I should find myself and who I am first and forgive myself and then go back to church so that I am comfortable and not made to feel like I am always wrong.
It is so difficult to change the way you have been brought up and every day I have lots of questions about memories I have and hopefully God hears them....
Things like this make me question myself and if I should be following the way I was brought up and giving everything to God and trusting Him to sort my life out? Half of me wants to but I am worried about what my parents say that their coming to Johannesburg is a sign from God and that he wants me to give my marriage a chance!?! This is not what I believe and I don't know how else to say it to them when they keep telling me I need to go back to God. Is my way of thinking so wrong? Am I making God into something I want or need at the time? I avoid going to church because it makes me feel guilty about myself. But when I think about this I am guilty because I am not what they want me to be and I think I should find myself and who I am first and forgive myself and then go back to church so that I am comfortable and not made to feel like I am always wrong.
It is so difficult to change the way you have been brought up and every day I have lots of questions about memories I have and hopefully God hears them....
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