learning every day

had a kak day and spoke to my sister (who is too wise for her age) and need to document what she said somewhere so I always remember it:

do you think you're maybe thinking too much, doubting and just needing to know he loves you in some pure and perfect way, when he really just does love you and can't explain it the same way every day? Okay think about what would attract you to him, and do the same for him.

But when he was calling too much when you were in CT before you guys first broke up... rem how you used to get annoyed? Yes it made you feel boosted cos he was over thinking over worrying... but maybe now it’s a stronger love and he doesn't feel the need to do that

Maybe he felt and saw it was too much of a roller coaster before?

No I'm just saying this cos I feel like I know you need attention, and we won't always get attention so you have to accept the love as what it is and not question. Just literally say awesome, and carry on with your day. Don’t think about the future or how it’s going to go wrong and don't be silly, of course it isn't you.

He DOES want you he says he does every day. He shows you and sends you poems and words and calls you first and last; of course he loves you think about it drastically, he didn't do that when you first met maybe leave him alone for a day and find your own grounding. Just find your own happiness for a day cos you can't suck it out of someone else. I know you think it’s changed cos he doesn't send the same poems etc. but that doesn't mean it’s changed.

There’s something about you he fell in love with and it’s not the needy you. It’s the strong, independent, happy one. Something you keep saying that he says is he wants someone happy and to just trust. That’s literally all he wants. Simplify it. Take away all the crap. Breathe. start again and send a simple msg if you want to say that you'll take some time to try see why you're worrying, to please be patient and thanking him for the msg's. My therapist put it this way and it stuck with me - we have two different kinds of thoughts. Fear, and love. Fear is the manic, overthinking, chaotic, needy, desperate one that pops up and shouts through. Love is the deep underlying one that comes through strong and loud, through all the bullshit. We have to confront a situation by saying okay instead of worrying and being anxious here, I'm going to send a thankful, loving msg to say I hope you're well and I loved this or that about that day and I'm looking forward to seeing you etc. Drive out the fear. It’s just fear and we can't fear we're going to lose something, cos that'll drive it away sis...

 

I love you sis and thank you for always helping your crazy batty sister who really has lost the plot a bit lately.